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Our Blog: a month by month diary produced by each of the band members in turn
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What's this blog all about? Click here to find out. 
 
November 2007   this months contribution by Alan - keyboard player
 
Currently listening to: Supertramp. Really into that at the moment. Wish I'd heard them live.   Favourite track: The Logical Song (live). Brilliant that and live too.     Favourite website: Youtube (it's brilliant!!)
Best joke this month: A farmer and his wife are talking about their financial woes. He say's "I don't know what on earth we can do. We have no money left. If only you had bigger tits we could get rid of one of the cows." 
She say's "if only you had a bigger dick we could get rid of one of the tractor drivers!!"  Material being worked on by the band: She moves in Mysterious Ways by U2
Best drummer joke this month: What does a drummer use for contraception? Answer: his personality.
 
Wednesday 7th: shit I hate winter. Getting bloody cold and dark. It's about 7.30 and I've just got in from work and now it's time to load the car up and get my arse to the weekly rehearsal. Hurry hurry hurry as I'm late. 
Almost forgot my Ipod. Get to the Ford Tractor Plant social club in double quick time for our rehearsal. It's brilliant there. Best rehearsal venue we've ever had. Load the car up with God knows how much gear: keyboards. speakers, cables, etc.
Main focus of the practice at the moment is getting ready for our gig this Friday at The Swan, Hatfield Peverel. Lazy (by Deep Purple) is getting it's first public airing as is Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven's Door. It takes about 30 minutes
for me to get there and about 15 minutes to set up. We finally get started by about 9 p.m. We're late this week. Everyone's there. Let's rock .....
Take yourself to the rehearsal by clicking on the video links shown here one at a time >>>>   Videos\QT0313.mov    Videos\QT0314.mov    Videos\QT0315.mov
Videos\QT0316.mov    Videos\QT0317.mov
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It's now Friday 9th November and we're off to our gig at The Swan Inn at Hatfield Peverel. It's a great pub with a terrific atmosphere. But where in the world is it? Click here to go there.
Take yourself to the gig by clicking on the video links shown here one at a time >>>> Videos\QT0320.mov    Videos\QT0322.mov    Videos\QT0323.mov
Videos\QT0329.mov  Videos\QT0334.mov
Here's some photos from the gig:
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Tuesday 14th November and we heading for our rehearsal. Normally they are on Wednesdays but for some reason it's Tuesday this week. Paul (who organises the rehearsals) will have told all of us why but
because we're blokes obviously none of us listened so we can't remember. However Justin can't make it so we have no lead singer. We decide to play Pick Up The Pieces (instrumental) which we have played
 'Goodness Knows how many times before' but this time we get the timing all wrong. Then follows a long debate about whether it should be 16, 17 or 18 bars before the saxophone kicks in with the middle eight section.
It's interesting how one person missing alters the whole dynamics of the band and can even cause an instrumental to go wrong!! but hey .. that's live music. Also Dave's got a bit of a cold and feels a little bit under the weather.
Have a listen:  Videos\QT0335.MOV      Videos\QT0336.MOV    
Now we play Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven's door with Martin covering the vocals. He's got a good voice:  Videos\QT0337.MOV
 
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Thursday 15th November: emails this week are focusing on the up and coming gig on the 18th which is our first ever gig on a Sunday!! Also what new material is to go before the committee (if such a thing existed) for approval!! ha!
So you could be getting (maybe .. who knows!!) Mysterious Ways and All Because of You both by U2. Martin's suggested Rat Trap by The Boomtown Rats. I would love to do some Supertramp as I'm really into them at the moment and
I've suggested Give Little Bit by  ... guess who .... Supertramp. Dave's got a fab acoustic which he uses on Love The One You're With and it would be brilliant for that. Greg's suggested CrossTown Traffic which is an old Hendrix number.
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Sunday 18th November: we're off to the gig at The Chequers Billericay. It's a small pub and we're worried how are all going to fit in there. We've had a stroke of luck in that one of our members (Paul) can't make it so that'll give us a bit more space.
It's also our first gig ever on a Sunday night. Will we get a crowd?
Here's some photos from the gig:
. 
 
Take yourself to the gig by clicking on any of the video links >>>:  Videos\QT0341.mov  Videos\QT0342.mov   Videos\QT0347.mov    Videos\QT0348.MOV   Videos\QT0349.MOV   Videos\QT0350.MOV
Find out where The Chequers is in the world by entering CM12 9BQ UK into Google Earth. Install Google Earth into your computer for free by clicking here
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Wednesday 28th November, band rehearsal:
No lead singer this week, he's stuck somewhere in London. We have a go at Knock on Wood. Have a listen:
>>>: Videos\QT0355.MOV
One thing we realised some time back is that all rehearsals are worthwhile, even if the whole band isn't there. It's certainly lot's of fun.
*****
December 2007   this months contribution by Dave - lead guitarist

Saturday the 1st of December saw the start of the preparations for the Loaded Dice new year’s eve gig at the White Hart in Billericay.  This gig will be quite a long night for us as we’ll be playing until 1am on new year’s day and we always like to make sure that everyone has a good time by putting extra songs in the set to keep the party mood going all night long.  So with the gig being a bit of a marathon we needed to start a month long training program to get ourselves into shape. 

We’re very lucky that two members of the band, Justin and Paul, have some valuable skills and experience to help us in our preparations.  Our singer Justin is an ex-marine and knows all about physical fitness training so we met every morning throughout December at 0530 in Gloucester park in Basildon for Justin to put us through our paces. 

 

“When Justin was in the marines he had a piece of string tied to his gun so he could find it easily,  something that would come in handy today with his harmonica”

Rhythm guitarist Paul studied Herbalism in his youth and is the band advisor on nutrition and well being.  He has been a committed vegetarian for nearly 40 years and Paul’s influence on the band is profound to the extent  where the rest  of us now won’t eat meat from an animal that wasn’t a vegetarian.

 

The following are just a few snippets from the month showing how our preparations have progressed;

 

Saturday December 1st - Day one, very tough work out and all very knackered, except for Tony who didn’t break a sweat.  I think he was tired though because when I said “see you next week” he didn’t reply. 

After training I took Justin to MacDonalds and bought him a  Mega breakfast special which he polished off in about two minutes flat so I bought him another and also two chocolate muffins.  I suggested to him that it was the others who really needed the work outs and that as my old mate he could excuse me the rest of the month but the bastard wasn’t open to bribery and next morning I had to do two extra laps of the park – blindfolded and running backwards whilst clenching a broom handle between my buttocks.  I’m starting to seriously wonder about what he got up to in the Marines.

 

December 3rd - Bass player Martin, an I.T. Support Manager and one of the cleverer members of the band, phoned to say that he had installed a number of wireless webcams in Gloucester Park and now intended each morning to take part in a virtual work out via his laptop from his company’s plush offices in Docklands.  Justin, who also works in I.T. said something about forcing something up into Martin’s interface (I think it was the broom handle) and Martin thought better of his plan and turned up dutifully about twenty minutes later.  

 

Note - Tony still quiet.

 

December 14th – We’re halfway though and we have our first run in with the authorities.  Basildon Council served a restraining order on our keyboard player Alan because of the appearance of his legs in shorts.  Spokes person for Basildon Town Council Ophelia Nutskin said  “We have to take into account the feelings of the local population and a flagrant display such as this in a public place could provoke vigilantes”. 

 

Note - Something’s definitely wrong with Tony, he does all the running around and everything but he won’t talk to anyone, I hope he’s OK.

 

December 19th - Greg turned up with no shorts and only one plimpsole and he didn’t have a note from his Mum so Justin made him run round the field bare foot wearing just a pair of frilly pink knickers (which Justin produced from the glove box of his car, that was lucky).  As some of you may have noticed Greg is quite a bit younger than the rest of us and sometimes stands up during a song whilst still playing the drums.  This isn’t because he’s a lot fitter than us it’s just that he wants to go and get on his Playstation so we all have to force him to sit back down and carry on playing.

 

December 24th – One week to go and we’re looking toned and fit, it’s remarkable what exercise, discipline and diet can achieve in such a short space of time.

 

 “Loaded Dice – Rock ‘n’ Roll Warriors”

 

December 26th Boxing day - At  the end of this session something terrible happened, Tony our Sax player keeled over and fell heavily to the floor, we all rushed over to him but he wasn’t breathing and his eyes had a glazed look about them.  Justin tried chest compressions but as he pressed down on to Tony’s lifeless body the head came off and we could see it was full of wires.  We were all in shock and struggled to come to terms with what was happening.  Just then a sheepish

looking Tony appeared from behind a tree holding a radio controller and we realised that he had built a remote controlled model of himself to get out of the training (that did explain why he was always the first to arrive and the last to go) The veins on Justin’s head stood out so much I thought they were going to burst! Then he made Tony run round the park until he could hardly stand and after that  inserted the broom handle so he could sweep the car park on the way back to his car. 

 

So that’s where we are now, if you’re coming to the gig we hope you enjoy it and please let us know if all of our blood, sweat and tears were worth it.

January 2008   this months contribution by Greg - drummer
 
Unfortanetly Greg has suffered a wrist injury and so hasn;t been able to play drums with us this month. Hopefully he wil be back soon.
 
February 2008   this months contribution by Justin - lead vocals

Blog de Blog

Phew it’s been a busy few months, since the new years Gig at the White Hart in Billericay the band has performed at many private and public events and functions.

Here we are on New Years Eve.

You may notice that there is an addition to the line-up. That’s Kev (Land lord of the White Hart and all round good Guy) who gets up every now and then to sing Mustang Sally.

Many of you may note that Dave in the back ground appears to be at ‘full height’ If you have read his Biography you will note he talks candidly about his height gain in the early 90’s due to a Hormonal Imbalance,

however what many of you will not be aware of is the ‘YO-YO’ nature of his condition, similar to that of many dieters, his height fluctuated wildly before finally stabilising on a near normal 5 foot 11 inches.

Here we have a photo of Dave from his private collection showing that during the worst episode his height plummeted to a mere 3 foot 4 and a half inches.

The corrective measures taken by staff at the Jonesonian institute of corrective medicine, of strapping him to a crucifix and gradually adding weights to his ankles may seem a bit draconian however they did have the desired affect.

The more observant of you will also notice the microphone selotaped to his head, like the true trooper he is, here you can see all 3’ 4 1\2” of him strapped to a cross, singing harmonies on ‘always look on the bright side of life’.

We are so proud of him.






 

 

 

 

 

 

The band has other important components and we have to look at pictures taken from personal collections to get a glimpse of band members in their familiar surroundings doing things they enjoy apart from playing.

Spare time is important here we see a picture of Paul (Billy Bob) Hartles and his Brother Billy Bob (Paul) Hartles, discussing the finer points of the family’s ‘previously enjoyed car parts’ business.

Paul is the one on the right with the handy tool carrying accessory, while his slightly heavier brother Paul can be seen over the belt of his trousers.


 

 

 

Not all the band have such lavish lifestyles though!


Martin “You’re on my Gaydar” Cutmore, our base player for example has a second job in a touring S&M (Sado Musical) troop.

Here he is looking his usual funky self, enjoying a riff so explosive that his guitar is in the process of meltdown.        


Greg our young on-off Drummer, (currently off) due to tendonitis brought on by a major masturbation incident.

Here he is at his rockin best.

However as Greg’s injury
has prevented him from
playing, we have had to
resort to deps for the last
few months, here is a
montage of drummers
we’ve worked with.


This is Melinda Titz-aught she worked very hard !




Russ who was our regular drummer has now become a Dep drummer, filling in (excuse the pun) for us when he can find the time between falling off his bike and other things he’s asked me not to mention.


Lookin cool tho man !

 

 


 

 

And Clayton who was our replacement dep drummer for Russ,

but who then became our full time stand in until we got Greg and the Then became dep to Russ when …yeah I thought so !   



Alan ‘the fingers’ Myers one of the bands most elusive members plays keyboards, here is a stock library picture of him at work. Circa 1972
(notice the bottles of old bob, no longer in production)

Back in the 70’s when colour
photography was still relatively
expensive we see not only Alan
with an unusual amount of hair
but also Tony, with what appears
to be a quiff ?

Tony was in fact arrested in 1973 when police
mistook him for a member of the notoriously
vicious, Daffodil gang. He was released when his
uncle, Mad Mick the mercenary sent a bag of
severed ears to the police station.

 

And Finally !

Here’s me with a few of my favourite acts that I’ve
Performed live with.


Bruce Springsteen        

 




Keef Richards        

 
March 2008   this months contribution by Martin - bass guitarist
(coming soon)
 
April 2008   this months contribution by Paul - rhythm guitarist

There was a drummer called Greg,
who couldn’t tell his wrist from his leg.
With the force of a goal,
he did a drum roll
come back soon we beg !

There was a singer called Justin,
who being very brave quit smoking.
His coughing fits were halved,
so he never got barred
and no longer appears in a smoke screen !

There was a keyboard player called Alan,
who could barrelhouse like a cannon.
Our groupies were in a rage,
when he wore shorts on the stage
the bulge resembling a truncheon !

There was a sax player called Tony,
who loved to bony maroney .
he was the most sharply dressed,
this fact we all confessed,
being for the benefit of the punani !

There was a bass player called Martin,
who strutted on stage like a chicken.
Sometimes forgetting his guitar,
due to bouts of alzheimer,
but he was quite gifted at singing !

There was a guitarist called Dave,
who played lead and caused us to rave.
His home made sandwiches were devine,
When he took the time,
But Justin’s farts he never forgave !

There was a guitarist called Paul,
who composed this limerick that’s all.
as much as he tried
from the light of death to hide,
Tony still considered it cool !

 
Please come back often ... there'll be lots more in the continuing saga of Loaded Dice!!